Adoptees
50Adoptees
Many years ago I was adopted and have had quite an interesting life. The adoption was finalized when I was 6 weeks old.
Throughout my teen years it was quite difficult to understand the concept and why I was one of the chosen children. I was special. That term became rather annoying as the early adult years came my way.
At age 31, it was my choice to search for the true story, biological parents, siblings, etc. The laws were such at that time that it made it almost impossible to search since the case was sealed. I joined ALMA (Adoptees Liberty Movement Association) and with their assistance, the search was made easier.
I found my parents. They were both alive and well although they never married. Thus, I had to stuff my inner feelings about how to handle and manage what to do with this information.
Located my birth mother first and it was quite an experience. Was the oldest of 8. Many years later, locted my birth father. Was the oldest of 3. So I went from being the youngest in the adoptive family to the oldest of 11. You can imagine the shock value!
In closing, it was the best decision and my life was complete. I do want to emphasize here for anyone interested in thinking of doing the same process, to wait until they are at a mature age, settled and able to handle whatever comes their way.
Actually my adoptive Mom helped in the search. She gave me the name of the atty. who handled the adoption and I contacted him.
Interesting. I'm the mother of two adopted sons and my oldest has been looking for his birth mother for years. His files were sealed by the court so he has had no luck. My youngest isn't interest in finding his at this point. He claims the only reason he has to find her would be for a medical history.
Good luck. My records were also sealed and it wasn't easy to find my bio. parents. Was able to locate my mother in about 3 days after making loads of calls. So glad I did. I wanted medical information also. Hopefully it all works out for your son.
Hi - I am from SA. Have been looking for my bio mother since I was in matric in 1979. No luck so far. Closed adoption in those days. I have gone to Adoptees Association in SA and various other organizations. No Luck. I have a specific uncurable disease and would like to trace my bio parent/s with regards to this. Any suggestions as to where I should go now ... because I have tried everywhere. It is as if she was non-existant. I have a name ... but does not know if this is the correct name at all. All those years back - it was a disgrace to have children out of wedlock. Please advise!!!
Do you have someone in your adoptive family who will help you? Someone has to know something. My records were sealed but my adopted mom contacted the attorney who handled the adoption and he gave us information. My birth name was destroyed as though I was never born. I am so sorry you are having problems finding the much needed information you want. If I can think of any additional information, I will post it here. I was born in 1946 so it was a major disgrace for my mother to tell her family she was carrying a baby. She was 14.
I am glad you made your peace with them and found some relatives in the process, a struggle I am sure. The 'special' tag we give adoptees is quite hard to swallow since perfection IS NOT part of the human equation and even if 'special and perfect' don't equate, it is still a tough tag to wear accordingly. Great piece and thanks for sharing here and at VINEFIRE where this fellow Hubber found you.
sharing the light, miss erica hidvegi the enlightenment advisor
What a great response, thank you. The tag bothered me in grade school but as an adult, doesn't mean anything to me. I know the story and it was appropriate for my bio mother not to keep me. Life moves on, I moved on and am so happy I could find and contact my roots.
Thanks again,
Funone
is was interesting story about people who adopted
SuthenMomma 5 years ago
That was an interesting article. How did your adoptive parents react to your search for your biological family?